I go through stages when it comes to crying...I don't know if I'm the only one or not but it's sorta frusterating.
It all started back when my pastor passed away. I was in 8th grade. Most people don't think that should have such an effect on an 8th grader, but me and my pastor were close. My friends and I hung out at his house riding four-wheelers and fishing. We loved going out there. My church was relatively small so everyone hung out together and were friends. He was the first person I ever knew who passed away unexpectedly. (The only other person I ever knew at the time who died had been my great-grandfather.)
I had just seen him the night before at IHOP. The next day he got hit by a log truck.
I remember getting the call from my best friend. My mom, brother, and I were on our way to JCPenny's. I was sitting in the back seat. It was a Monday. I didn't believe her...I kept telling her that wasn't a funny joke..but she was serious. I was in shock. I couldn't tell my mom so I handed her the phone. I just remember telling her I had to get to church. So much of the next few days were a blur. I just remember crying constantly.
The next week I remember going on a walk around my neighborhood. I was terribly sad. I think a lot while walking and I remember thinking that I couldn't cry anymore. It was over. I had to be strong. I couldn't be this weak anymore. So I quit crying. I didn't cry for a very long time. At least a full year. Then began the stages... I would get hard hearted and not cry for anything...then I would have melt downs and cry at the drop of a hat. Neither stage is very fun.
Right now I'm in the crying stage. I can cry for any reason. I have to say this is the least fun stage. I can look at Brooklyn and just start crying. Tonight I didn't get to go to Zumba becaue I left my student ID at home and I cried. I had been so looking forward to it.
So when is it okay to cry? What constitutes the situation/time when crying is okay? Is it tragedies, happiness... Some people cry all the time while others don't hardly ever cry...Does everyone go through these stages? It's hard for me. I don't want others to have to suffer through the stages. I feel crazy.
Well that's my crying story.
